Bush Outsources Congress

Date: Tuesday, September 16, 2003 11:49 AM

JOB DESTRUCTION NEWSLETTER

www.ZaZona.com

For once I have some good news to report. Bush is finally outsourcing
Congress!

If that doesn't provide enough laughs, go to:
http://www.zazona.com/ShameH1B/JobDestructionHumor.htm

http://www.fallcreek.com/jay/bushlaysoffcongress.html

Bush Lays Off Congress; will Outsource Lawmaking to India

By Jay Slupesky

Washington - Citing the growing cost of running the Federal government

and the need to cut costs in order to reduce the budget deficit,
President Bush announced today that he was laying off all 535 members
of Congress and transferring lawmaking operations to a legislative
support center in Bangalore, India. "Hey, outsourcing is the way to go
these days," said Bush at an impromptu news conference where he
announced the decision, adding, "the American people want to see less
government waste. Since every one of those ex-Congressmen had a salary
of $150,000, this move will cut our costs by over $80 million per year,
and that's not even counting what we'll save on health insurance and
retirement plans." Sources indicate that the Indian replacements will
be paid approximately $250 per month.

The outcry from the newly laid-off Senators and Representatives was
swift. Ex-California Senator Diane Feinstein said, "This is absolutely
outrageous. How can a bunch of replacements over in India run Congress?
What do they know about filibusters and committee hearings?" As she was
being escorted out of the Hart Senate Office Building by U.S. Capitol
Police officers, Feinstein complained that the newly-terminated
lawmakers were only given ten minutes to clean out their desks and
leave the building.

"I think it's a great idea," said Vice President Dick Cheney, speaking
from a secure undisclosed location. "The American people were fed up
with that expensive do-nothing Congress which didn't always give the
President everything he asked for. Our new Indian replacements will be
much cooperative to the President, which is what we all want." Asked
whether the outsourcing may be unconstitutional, Cheney noted, "That's
up to the Supreme Court to decide, but as you know, they usually see
things our way."

The new members of Congress seem thrilled with the attention they are
receiving. Speaking from the offices of All-India Legislative Support
Centre Ltd. in Bangalore, new Mississippi Senator Ramchandra Shektar
Gupta told reporters, "The Indian people are very hard working and we
will do our best as U.S. Congressmen and Congresswomen. And we are
going to have some fun too. Just think: we have $2 trillion of the
American taxpayers' money to spend!"

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